What is My Purpose?

It's happening again. I can feel it creeping up like a shadow, a foreboding, dense and dark. My doctor says that it's simply stress, but there's nothing simple about it. With a sense of panic, I want to race forward into my responsibilities and run from them at the same time-kids, work, maintaining a household, social engagements, the whole daily living routine. Up at five, shower, hair, make-up, get my husband going, the kids ready for school, make breakfast, pack lunches, cajole the family into helping clean up the dishes-it's a race just to get each day started. And in between all the frantic activity lurks the nagging question: Who am I, and what's the purpose of my life?

Doing, doing, doing. It seems that we're all in a constant rush to do more and more. Why? Could it be that we're taught that to be something we have to do everything? Or is it that we find no purpose in our lives except through what we do? The "Everywoman" in the paragraph above is trapped by the feeling that her purpose is hidden in what she does as a mother, an employee, a wife and a friend. But, all of this doing doesn't fulfill her. Instead, it leaves her asking herself, "Why? Why do I rush around like this everyday, always feeling harried and late and unsatisfied? Isn't there more to life than this?"

The answer is yes. There is more to life than this, but to experience it we have to change our perspective from that of a person whose purpose is to do, to that of a person who's purpose is to be.

Who would you be, if you didn't have to do?

Both doing and being are states of consciousness. Do-ers are focused in the external world. Do-ers feel obligated to keep doing. A do-er will seek their self-worth in the appreciation of those for whom they do, but this is seldom fulfilling. Others never seem to praise the do-er enough, or consistently satisfy the emptiness they are trying to fill. So, the do-er becomes resentful. And anything a person resents doing evolves into an exhausting chore. (Unfortunately, everything we do in life has the potential of becoming a chore as long as we're doing it because we feel that we have to.)

Be-ers, on the other hand, are focused within. A be-er finds self-worth in who they are and then consciously chooses what they want to do. A be-er does because they want to, not because they have to. A be-er is able to access their true essence and then share that with the world. Be-ers give birth to the actions they take in life, and in this way they are truly living up to their purpose. Be-ers are creators of life; do-ers are victims to life.

Are you do-ing or be-ing?

The following process will help you discover which.

Make a list of the activities that fill your days? Beside each item, describe the benefits, both positive and negative, that you receive from each particular activity-what purpose it serves in your life. For example, suppose you list "daily exercise" as an activity. Your list of purposes might look like this: It helps me maintain a slim and healthy body; I enjoy the social aspect of it, etc. Or, it may look more like this: I feel ugly if I don't; My husband wants me to lose weight, etc. Your list may also be a combination of both positive and negative.

When you're finished, review your lists and consider whether you're do-ing the activity because you think that you should do it, or you're doing the activity because it's an expression of who you are. Then ask yourself whether or not you want to continue each activity. Are there activities that you'd like to add to you list?

The above process and many others can be found in The Wisdom Chronicles: An Everywoman's Awakening to Her Purpose.

The Wisdom Chronicles is a book with a mission. It seems to throw all who read it into a state of profound inner inquiry. It shakes up their life assumptions and forces them to abandon the role of do-er (victim) in favor of the role of be-er (creator). It's a tool that Coaches can successfully use with individual clients or groups.